Connection in the Present.
I don’t know about you, but I think my entire existence, all I’ve ever wanted to do is to connect with people. Have bonds and friendships, get to know people, and learn. There is something about human connection. We feel different things from relationships, such as love, safety, community, etc. We feel less alone and more connected. And I gotta say, feeling alone is not one of my favorite emotions to experience.
What has been introduced to the human race as a means of connection has been social media. And sure, I think in theory when these platforms first came about, there was truly this desire for connecting people, near and far. But wow did that evolve quickly into what I think now, is the furtherest thing from connection we are experiencing.
I think you can get a gist of where my feelings lie about social media. Being a millennial, I can remember times without social media, apps, smart phones, tablets, smart watches, etc. Basically the internet and the online world. Certain things were coming into existence, there was cell phones (not anywhere near the caliber they are today), there was computers and the internet. Browsing the web though felt like such a different experience back then. It felt like there wasn’t really much to browse, in my opinion. I mean I truly had no use for it. Until, one of the first social media platforms came to the surface, Myspace. Prior to this, there was AOL instant messenger, but think of that as like instant emailing back and forth, in today’s world texting.
I was in junior high using instant messager and high school when Myspace arrived on the scene. I remember being quite literally obsessed with them both. I didn’t want to miss a thing! Wanting to always be online and available. I remember being a teenager and having dial up (if you know, you know) and how dreadful that was, haha. But wow, was that just the beginning of our little impatient minds.
So as more people and my friends were arriving on these two platforms, I was loving the ability to connect with my friends, at what felt like, all times. When I was younger, I was always at a friends house or had a friend over. I loved being with people and in school, I alwaysssss got in trouble for talking. To this day, I still love talking to people, connecting, forming friendships, learning and observing.
Your teen years are very transformative time. They really start to set a tone and an impression. Having social media start to come into the picture, there was this obsession of constantly wanting to display yourself, get attention, get the likes, the validation. I mean as a teenager, that was a drug in and of itself. We all wanted to be liked, to be “cool” and social media displayed that. Not only was I wanting to fit in, be liked, be pretty, etc. I started to compare myself to other women, and not just the women that where at my school, but ALL over.
From AOL and Myspace, brought Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and loads of other platforms. (A personal fav of mine, was LiveJournal, again, if you know you know, and that’s what this website is giving for me, lol) But from the introduction of new platforms, not only were you displaying yourself on one of them, but now many! And they all SLIGHTLY provided different offerings. So now I was comparing myself on multiple platforms.
You couldn’t have just one, or at least, you didn’t want to just have one. What if you missed something! That’s how I felt. So as a teenager, I felt as if I was a personal secretary, administrating back and forth through these platforms. But what I was also doing was studying them. I was observing what other people were posting, what got attention and what didn’t. A tip toe into addiction.
Now, if you remember the early 2000’s you remember the craze of idolizing THIN women. I mean, that’s been pushed for some time, but something about it in the early 00’s was like promotion. Being skinny was it. Mix that with social media and woooo weeeee! There’s a cocktail!
Social media took me down a dark whole of obsession with my looks, my body, comparison, anything to validate my ego. As time went on, smart phones entered the scene, bringing you guessed it, MORE platforms. Instagram, Snapchat, and now apps of all kinds! Adding more to my secretarial to do’s for myself. This was self absorption at it’s finest beginning. But another story for another time.
So where was I finding connection in any of this? Sure, I was liking posts, statuses, pictures, commenting, and messaging. But that wasn’t actually giving me real connection with people. A hug from a person is so much more powerful than a hug emoji. And while, yes, it is a blessing to stay connected with family and friends that are scattered across the country and the world. Nothing beats a more personal phone call, Facetime or even a personal message. I myself, love a good pen pal.
Human beings are communal beings. We are not meant to be alone. We thrive together. Our ancestors were always in community with one another. Working together. Supporting each other. And while, yes, bringing together people can come with it’s own baggage. Hence, look at the US currently. So divided. I think social media has helped in that division (AMONG OTHER THINGS)
Here’s my long winded way of saying, I find social media for myself, no longer a thing I want to use in my life. And living in a world now where that is a great way to broadcast and promote yourself, especially as a business owner. I believe that the best form of advertising is truly word of mouth. I want to connect with people. I want to have real life conversations. Being a yoga teacher and preaching presence, I want to have connections in the PRESENT. IN PERSON.
This entry has felt contradicting, sitting here typing out something for my website, while speaking out about social media. But this feels more authentic than the loud and busy other platforms out there.
So if you’d like to connect with me. Please, give me a hello next time we cross paths. But if crossing paths isn’t likely, than an email is perfectly okay. :)
Till next time friends!
With lots of love and light,
Alyssa :)
